13/01/2011

Satisfy Your Sexual Experience with Foreplay

couple-sitting-back-to-back.jpgForeplay is an important part of having a satisfying sexual experience. It is not just about the size of the male partner's penis or how flexible your female partner is. Building up to the final act is an vital part of the whole sexual experience. If you and your partner are pretty much going straight to the sexual intercourse, your sex life will become predictable, and possibly leading to sexual frustration in one or both of the partners.

Oral sex can be very pleasurable and cause the male or female to achieve an orgasm even prior to sexual intercourse. While the majority of men and women who receive oral enjoy it, there are are number of individuals who do not like to give or receive it. Why Do Individuals Not Enjoy Receiving or Giving Oral Sex?

Women who do not like receiving oral sex may feel self conscious about how she tastes or smells down there. Some women may also feel uncomfortable about how their vagina looks, and may be more comfortable receiving oral if the lights are turned off. If your female partner shows discomfort in receiving oral, ease her into it. Let her know that you enjoy pleasuring her that way and while you are doing it, express your happiness in doing it by telling her "You taste so good" or "I love making you have an orgasm this way."

You can also suggest using a flavored lubricant to make her feel more comfortable if she is worried about how she tastes or smells down there. If you partner is absolutely against it, respect her wishes and do not do it. Although the majority of men do enjoy receiving oral sex, believe it or not, there are men who prefer not to receive it. Similar to women, he may feel self conscious about the way he tastes.

He may also worry about making the female gag. He may also feel a little vulnerable, or be afraid of accidently biting or discomfort of the teeth scraping against his sensitive penis. Men and women do not like giving oral sex for a few reasons. In men, he may not like the taste or smell of the female genitalia.

Or, he may feel that he is not doing it properly and feel uncomfortable about doing it. The female may not like giving oral sex because similar to the male, she does not like the taste. When it comes to giving a male oral sex, some partners may have a gag reflex, and makes the partner feel nauseous or the sensation of having to vomit. Some partners may also feel that it is uncomfortable to perform oral sex on the man as he or she may be unable to open their mouth wide enough or may experience jaw discomfort.

15:29 Écrit par Donna dans Sex Life | Lien permanent | Commentaires (1) | Tags : sexual experience, oral sex |  Facebook |

16/12/2010

What a Man Wants From a Woman

happy-couple-smiling-425.jpgWe know a lot of men opened the article and read it on their own, and we received some nice comments and email from them. Thanks. And a lot of women let us know they opened the article and passed it along to their guys in various manner; emailing it to them, having them sit down in front of the computer and read it, printing it out and leaving it somewhere they would find and read it, printing it out and stapling it to their chests as they dozed... 

We got some nice comments and emails from those guys and gals, too. And again we say, Thanks! However, men's understanding what a woman wants from her man is only half the equation so, in the interest of promoting ever greater relational happiness for our brothers and sisters in blue (or khaki, or green, or...), this month we approach from the other side and take a look at what a man wants from his woman. A word of caution in advance: What we offer are guidelines for adaptation by individuals and couples. No two people are exactly the same, nor are any two relationships, and the finer points must fit the specific needs of the couple.

A lot of literature along the lines we are presenting can be found that tends to be way too specific, slightly demeaning (It is okay if you don't have the physique of a model. You can always get a gym membership and work on those physical flaws! - that always pumps up self-esteem in the ladies!), or filled with frou-frou vagaries.

Instead, our guidelines give general rules with the understanding that more specific preferences and practices should be uncovered through by way of open and honest communication, observation, and self-discovery. So here we go...

A man wants the woman in his life to be his best friend Seems obvious, right? Unfortunately, a lot of couples are lacking in this most crucial facet of their relationship and, without friendship as the foundation upon which everything else is built, the whole of the relationship may sit on shifting sands when adversity hits. Love is powerful, and vitally important, but not nearly enough. If you are like me, there may be people you truly love from your past - maybe prior lovers, or friends, or mentors - but the flame of friendship has long since fizzled. You wish them well, hope they are enjoying long, healthy, happy, fulfilling lives, but really could not care less about spending more than a moment of face time with them, if that. We move on. And lust is important, too.

Lust is underrated, and even a little maligned sometimes, but when you look at your partner, love and friendship aside, I hope you feel a twinge of lust for them. I once heard a speaker - a clinical psychologist and sex researcher - make an excellent point: If the average couple has sex three times per week (and that may be a bit generous), and the average sexual encounter lasts 24 minutes from inception to end (yes, there are people who actually study such things!), then the average couples' weekly lovemaking takes up just slightly more time than is needed to watch an hour-long TV drama and the first segment of the nightly news combined (including commercials).

The point is, you need to more than just love your partner. You need to more than lust after them, too. For the rest of those waking, non-working hours not spent in the sack, you had better really like each other! Liking each other is the glue the foundation on which all the subsequent points will be built. You know what you want in a best friend. You want someone with whom you share common interest, who is fun to be around, easy to talk to, and eager to lend a hand. You want someone who is the first person you rush to in order to share laughter and pain and rage. You want someone with whom you feel a partnership in your common endeavors. He wants the same thing.

A man wants to feel accepted by the woman in his life This means he wants to be accepted for the man he is, trusted in the choices he makes, supported in the actions he takes, and respected for the opinions he holds. There is plenty of denigration coming at all of us from the world; from those we work with, the public we serve if we are cops, our clients and stakeholders if we are not, the kids and family, friends and neighbors, and that one guy screaming at us with extended middle finger on the highway. It is tiresome getting so much unvarnished criticism from so many sources, so acceptance at home is a welcome relief. Please understand, this is not a demand for blind acceptance of just anything we do, or a request you never intervene when we go astray. A wise man knows he is human - and subject to human frailties and failure - and welcomes critique given with his best interest at heart.

The key is to show continuing acceptance of the man, while questioning (or even rejecting) the substance of an individual action, word, or opinion, and regardless of whether he heeds your advice or not. Here is an important caveat: Helping us become our best selves is NOT the same as molding us into the incarnation of someone you wish we were.

In other words, never challenge us in order to change us into someone we neither recognize nor like; to do so is self-serving and patronizing and will cause more harm and hurt than can imagine. A man wants open communication from the woman in his life Sometimes it may seem we men prefer to communicate in monosyllables, grunts, blank looks, and the occasional burst of apparently random profanity (it is never really random). And you have probably read how women have the capacity to speak and comprehend 20,000 words each day, while men can only manage 10,000 leading to serious communication issues between the sexes. Just the same, guys do want communication with their women.

Is this a simplistic plot device, drawn from tired gender stereotypes, and used in countless sitcoms and comic routines? Sure, but stereotypes resonate because, deep down, they tweak group recognition of shared experience. Every one of us has wondered just how two people can live the same event and share a common language, but walk away with vastly different interpretations of what went on and what it means. Despite shared language, men simply do not communicate relationally with the same depth of nuance and meaning as do women. The result is often confusion or hurt feelings. We (men) want to understand, and we want to say and do the right things, but may require patience and ongoing coaching in understanding female communication. This can be burdensome for the woman in the relationship but the alternative is burdensome on the relationship. Look, there is no Rosetta Stone system for this yet, so it has to fall on you! Approach each other with patience and humor and make communicating fun. A man wants the woman in his life to have self-confidence Self-confidence is sexy. Many women get stuck comparing themselves to supposed ideals of femininity, motherhood, wifehood, beauty, body, stylishness, intelligence, and achievement and are endlessly wondering how they measure up, only to knock themselves down in disappointment. Others constantly seek assurance from others that they are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or accomplished enough, but they never seem able to hold onto affirmations and get stuck in a tedious cycle. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, if he beheld you and asked you out, and then asked you out again and again, and now you are in a committed long-term relationship, then I guess you just might be his fantasy. Appearance is just one of the comparison points some women use, but no matter what yours might be, use it for personal goal-setting purposes only, and only if realistic. Your man may be quite pleased with the woman you already are.

So carry yourself with confidence. Confidence is sexy. A man wants the woman in his life to respect him Men crave approval from their women; we want to know you admire us and are proud of who we are and what we do. Althea often tells me she is proud of me, of my job, of how I do it, and to be married to me. That means more to me than any supervisory commendation or letter of appreciation from a citizen.

Those come and go, but having the approval of my wife has lasting impact. A man wants great sex from the woman in his life I bet you had no idea I would be revealing such groundbreaking secrets! Stick with me, however, and notice I said great sex. There is no secret move or position or trick or toy I can tell you about that transforms run-of-the-mill sex into earth-shattering sex. There may be, but there are plenty of books out there you can explore yourselves - and we encourage you to - as well as the whole information superhighway where, rumor has it, there are plenty information side streets running through vast digital information Red Light Districts. Just saying... What I want to offer are the following points: First, it is important to recognize that, for women, feeling loved and safe in her relationship leads to desire and sexual expression of love. For men, however, the order is reversed. Receiving sex from his woman leads to feeling loved. Second, research has shown the sex lives of most couples, over time, tend to fall into predictable patterns of timing and behavior. Couples develop a limited repertoire and then stick with what they know, although both partners often express a wish for greater variety and experimentation. Third, take the initiative (and risk?) to try something new, do something differently, or to break out of old patterns will probably surprise and delight your man. Be creative, be assertive, and be confident. Remember, confidence is sexy!

In conclusion

These are guidelines to follow; how you put them into practice is up to you, and limited only by your imagination. Have fun with your relationship, commit to taking care of each other, and always stay face-to-face and talking.

16:24 Écrit par Donna dans Relationships | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0) | Tags : sex, sexy |  Facebook |

21/10/2010

What Do You Do After Sex

health_20081001_kissandmakeup_banner.jpgAfter sex, women prefer talking, kissing, cuddling and talking about the relationship, while men prefer to smoke, eat or drink, U.S. researchers say.

Study author Susan Hughes, associate professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa., says most research on sex focuses on what leads to sex, but a number of elements of reproduction happen after sexual intercourse, including: bonding, future relationship intentions and possible continued sexual activities, sperm retention and competition, mate guarding and the possibility of fertilization.

Hughes says the study, to appear in the upcoming issue of The Journal of Sex Research, involved 170 men and women who completed a questionnaire.

The study found women were more likely than men to initiate and place greater importance on behaviors linked to intimacy and bonding with both long and short-term partners. Men, on the other hand, were more likely to engage in extrinsically rewarding tasks such as smoking, asking for a favor or behaviors that increased the odds of having sex again.

Men also initiate having more sex. Both men and women agree on the importance of saying "I love you" to a long-term partner after sex, Hughes says.

16:42 Écrit par Donna dans Sex Life | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0) | Tags : sex, kissing, sexual intercourse |  Facebook |