Most people think spontaneity is the key to better sex. They're wrong. Planning and preparation is what separates an orgasm from an orgasp! You can be spontaneous with food, for example, but not if you forgot to buy it.
Here's an example of P&P Sex (planning and preparation): Let's say you both had "fun with food" on your erotic wish lists. First, make a grocery list.
Buy food of every texture, smell and taste imaginable — soft, hard, chewy, salty, sweet, bitter. Best bets: maraschino cherries, Jell-O, strawberries, peppers, curly pasta (cooked, don't be cruel), grapes (seedless, don't be mean), eggs (boiled, don't be hateful), and olives (pitted, don't be heartless).
Yogurt, for example, can create a sensuous goo for two bodies to slide together. Champagne sipped from foreskin presents a decadent type of, ahem, stemware. Chilled fruit can cause quite a sensation when inserted into various orifices and withdrawn with a warm tongue.
Now that you've got the food, what do you do with it?
Head to the kitchen floor. You'll take turns, but let's start with him. Have your partner sit with his back to the wall. You can blindfold him, but it's more powerful if he simply closes his eyes and trusts you.
Now, feed him a piece of each food. But don't just feed; tease. Take a grape and tap it from the bridge of his nose to his lips before plopping it in his mouth. Let the syrup run on his chin before feeding him a spoonful of maraschino cherries. Encourage him to play with the food by licking his lips, sticking out his tongue and savoring the flavors.
Two rules for him: eyes shut and no hands. He's not allowed to touch you. The secret to making it sexy is to deprive him of some senses (touch and sight) while enhancing the others (smell and taste). The unpredictability of what you'll do next also creates a thrilling anticipation. You won't believe how sexy it is to hold a plastic bottle of honey, ask that he stick his tongue out and watch the honey ooze out and pool in his tongue.
Make sure you wash down the food with different liquids — milk, juice, water. For added effect, drink some wine, hold it in your mouth and squirt it into his.
Whether your sexual fantasy is about trying a roll or a role, do some basic prep work. For instance:
If you think you might throw your love onto the dining table in a moment of mad passion, you might weight test the platform once or twice and reinforce as required. Nothing shatters the mood like collapsing furniture — or picking splinters out of each other's asses.
Have lube ready at various stations, always within easy reach.
If you intend to play with something like handcuffs, stash keys in strategic places around the house.
Minimize potential interruptions. Clear your schedule. Turn the phones off. Don't order food for delivery. Don't answer the door unless it's the local fire brigade.
Plan for the afterglow. Some activities can be rather intense and your partner can feel a little silly or panicky afterward. Bring the mood down slowly and gently. Have a talk, a cuddle, a snack. And for God's sake, tip the delivery boy.
Now that we're at the end of our series, the secret to great sex is worth repeating: It's not what you do to me but where you take me. In other words: Free your mind. Your crotch will follow.
Many guys try to be “nice” with the women of their dreams and end up being dejected. There is actually no point in chasing her around or buying her expensive gifts. Majority of men are clueless regarding how and when women feel that enviable emotion of attraction towards some men. Body language plays an important role in grabbing attention from women. From your physical cues, women generally estimate whether you deserve another glance or not. There are certain subtle tests, which are made by women constantly.
In most cases, it goes unnoticed by men as it occurs spontaneously as part of the conversation itself. It is found that more beautiful women do these tests frequently when compared to their less beautiful counterparts. Those guys who fail in spotting these tests and dealing them effectively become instant failures. Your behaviour to other women who pass by, casual references made about your women colleagues etc all form part of these tests.
Seeing things differently is what is most important. Never consider “nice” and “attraction” as two sides of the same coin. They are entirely unrelated. You also need to develop your observation skills. Even the slightest behavioural change from the part of your woman should not be missed. Of course, you do not have to let her know that you have noted it. But be sure that you have made suitable alterations from your part in order to keep her interest arrested for long. Always try to be yourself. Pretensions are sure to do more harm than good.
Women, whether they are college students or high professionals love to be flattered. But it is never a wise step to blindly coat them in flattery paint. If you genuinely feel something as “suiting” never ever hesitate in complimenting her. She certainly deserves a pat on her shoulder for any sensible act.
‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’ are the two words that should be kept ready at your tongue tip to use whenever need arises.
Scientists want to determine if "liberating men from the bonds of traditional masculinity would be beneficial."
"Modesty," as it was categorized in the study, may make men feel good about themselves, but it's a real turn-off to women as far as sexual attraction goes.
The research protocol called for groups of female and male volunteers to watch a 15 minute video of job interviews, with various male and female actors. Though their qualifications for the jobs were about the same, some of the actors were in command of the event, very self-assured; others were more modest about their capabilities.
The volunteers, 132 females and 100 males, rated the job candidates (actors) very differently. Women linked male modesty with weakness, unemployability, and un-sexy. Men job candidates that demonstrated assertiveness and competitiveness were perceived as having high status, more able, and more sexually appealing.
This is rather a surprising finding, I think, at a time when so many of societal gender rules seem to have changed, certainly during the past 40 or so years. Interesting too is that earning potential is so entwined with sexual drive in women.
Male volunteers did not associate either the confident females or the modest females as being more sexually desirable than the other.
The researchers were dutiful to point out that neither personality type - macho or modest - has been shown to have any effect on hiring potential, but what if you are being interviewed by a woman?