21/09/2010

7 Factors of an Ideal Relationship

soulsearchtofindlove.jpgThere are many factors that go into having an ideal relationship. This article will explore what it means to be "ideal" and how you can go about achieving that status in your relationship. Watch out, because the last point will surprise you!

1.) Let go of the past. What happened in past relationships is over. Your current man is not going to treat you like your last one did - don't expect it. And just because your last girlfriend walked out on you doesn't mean this one will. If you don't let go of the past, you are doomed to repeat it.

2.) Discover how you act in relationships. Are there patterns that you repeat in your relationships? Do you have certain expectations for yourself or your partner? For instance, do you expect your partner to meet all of your emotional needs thinking that you don't need an extended network of family and friends? When you start to catalog these issues, you may be able to get closer to finding the ideal relationship.

3.) Discover your needs. Make a list of what you need out of a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then, go about finding that person. If the factor is not on your list, ignore it or modify the list. Don't expect perfection, but look to get your basic romantic needs met.

4.) Define Your Boundaries. If you know what is acceptable and not acceptable in your relationships, you will be better able to find someone who can fill your needs. And, you need to be able to communicate these boundaries to your new partner so that he or she can honor them.

5.) Redefine how you socialize. Don't think that you can continue to go where you go and pick up a different kind of partner. A certain kind of woman goes to singles bars and another kind altogether goes to a Baptist church every Sunday. If you aren't finding the kind of partner you are looking for in the places you're currently going to look for dates, consider expanding your territory.

6.) Define new relationship patterns. This is a multi-step process that includes:

· Seeing people for what they are, and not what you want them to be.

· Recognize and understand why you are attracted to people

· Know what you need from your relationship.

· Be clear about what you consider an ideal relationship.

· Having a rich and satisfying social life - with or without a boyfriend or girlfriend.

7.) Realize that there is no "ideal relationship." I told you this one would surprise you. But, when you accept that people are people and there is no way around that, you will become satisfied with the "good" and not long for the "perfect.

10:38 Écrit par Donna dans Relationships | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0) | Tags : ideal relationships |  Facebook |

08/09/2010

It's Time to Have the Talk

couple%20talking-saidaonline.jpgIf you’ve been seeing each other seriously for a long time, have the talk. If you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, you must have the talk – the gender roles talk.

Did you grow up as a fixture in a Leave it to Beaver rerun or did you hear Free to Be You and Me over and over and over? What if you fit the first description and your partner fits the second?

This scenario could lead to communication cross-talk, and no couple needs that!

Each of us comes into a relationship with our entire past, including experiences, norms, assumptions and rules that can differ tremendously, even between people that have lives that, on the surface, seem quite similar.

If he’s not taking out the trash, it could be that he didn’t know that you assumed it was “his job”. Any automatic assumptions of laziness or uncaring are, at this point, completely unfounded. If she doesn’t have dinner on the table at six o’clock sharp, it could be because she grew up and a perfectly decent home – one where there was no particular person appointed to restaurant duty.

Both of the situations described above are marvelous opportunities for communication. Of course, both sides need to feel happy, loved and cared about and it is up to the two of you to work this out. Harboring resentful feelings will only help those destructive emotions grow.

Assumptions are dangerous in any relationship, be it a working, neighborly or a loving relationship – all the more so when you’re living together. The day-to-day issues that can build up when one feels his/her needs aren’t being met, that his/her emotions are being ignored or, even worse, if she/he feels taken advantage of are highly destructive.

So please, sit down, pen and paper in hand if necessary, and invest in your future collective happiness. What you decide is up to the two of you and all’s fair so long as you both come out smiling.

26/07/2010

How to attract people?

bigstockphoto_Love_Couple_Right.jpgAre you a person who can easily win people’s hearts? Do people enjoy being around you? Do people find you approachable?

The ability to win people’s hearts is a skill that successful people have. They are able to attract people to them without effort as if it is some kind of magic.

Have you ever met someone who seldom smiles? What did you think of that person? Did you have a close rapport?

Studies show that a sincere and love smile has a powerful affect in winning people‘s hearts. When you sincerely smile at someone, that sends a message to others that you like them and appreciate their company and that creates an ambience of friendship between people. Smiling at people is the key to winning people’s hearts as people have enough problems and do not want to deal with someone who has problems and always complains.

Once upon a time there was a guy who rarely smiles and very serious in life. His wife and colleagues always complain that he never smiles. All of his colleagues began to turn away from him as he is not approachable and seldom smiles. Then, one of his closest friends asked him if he knows the reason why everyone goes away from him. The guy said he does not know. Then, his friend told him the main reason no one talks to him is because he rarely smiles and that people find him unapproachable. People like to be around people who smile and ease their difficulties. Afterwards, the man started to smile to everyone he meets and after a short time, people started to talk to him and enjoy being with him.

Can you see what the power of smiling can do?

Keys to a beautiful smile

1. When you smile, try to mean it. Let the smile come out of your heart.
2. Strive to make your smile have a meaning.

Of course, you are not going to have a smile on your face all day long, otherwise you will look like a clown. However, smiling when you run into a friend, colleague, or someone , make things much easier and make people find you more friendly and approachable.

13:20 Écrit par Donna dans Relationships | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0) | Tags : friendship, love smile |  Facebook |